Fifty Shades Faded
by Ace7321
Summary: He had lost all of his recollections: his family, his past, his misconduct. The only thing he remembered was English, his name and one person only: Ana. She help him rebuild and remember, but faced with the harshment judgement of all: should he return to the old proud Christian Grey, or should she allow him to forget and just be... Christian Grey? Warning and prompts inside.
1. Prologue

**A.N: So this would be my first time writing a fanfic from Fifty Shades Trilogy and I felt like a nervewreck about it. Still, hope you would like my first try on something out of my league! :) Cover image taken from Fanpop, I DO NOT own it.**

**This story basically take place right after the ending of Fifty Shades of Grey when Ana left the Escala. Then the rest from there on would be my own storyboard and it would be like Fifty Shades Darker and Freed never took place. Enjoy!**

**Warnings: There would be OOC prompts from Christian, sexual content and lots of cussing words(you know...). Oh, and I assure you: HEA.**

**Disclaimers: I do not own anything out of the Fifty Shades Trilogy. They belong to E.L James.**

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**_Fifty Shades Faded_**

_Prologue_

"Goodbye, Ana." was the last words I bid her.

I could only stand there despondently, waiting and waiting for the moment I predicted she would climbed into the backseat of the car. I closed my eyes, imagining vividly in my mind how the the exhaust of the vehicle would huff and puff before speeding albeit slowly away from Escala, and disappear within the next corner. The imagination was almost alive, burning in my mind, and I fucking swear that I could hear the roar of the engine as it left my residence...

So did the only drive of my life. Anastasia Steele was no more. It felt like the car had robbed half of my spirit and gone it went like a swish of wind. Gone, gone, gone from my life and I reckoned: forever.

My body froze, none of muscles and fibre responding for my command to move. Or, I couldn't myself, a sudden weight of tonne rested itself upon my shoulder, my feet and the rest of my anatomy. It felt so tired to move even just for a little. Then something inside my chest slowly expanded, I never felt like it before I met Ana. It was so foreign, and I didn't like it. It grew and grew, oh so heavy that my knee gave way and I found myself sitting on the ground where I watched her leave.

It never happened before when all fifteen of my previous subs left... wait, Ana was different. She was not a sub. But not my girlfriend either, I didn't do girlfriend far as I remembered. The ground suddenly felt so cold that it stung my my skin where it was exposed.

My palms slapped both my cheeks, covering them. I finally found myself a word to define the heart swelling feeling inside my damned ribcage.

Regret, yes.

Fuck. Why am I feeling this way? I shouldn't be regreting over split milk, shouldn't I? I let her go because _she_ wanted to go!

Then... why?

There was a chime from the elevator.

"Sir? Mr. Grey?" a strong thud of black boots stopped before me, "Are you alright, sire?"

I pulled my hands away— finding that they were dry, no tears pooling at all— and there stood Sawyer. When did he get back? I thought I had sent him away for the rest of the day?

Sawyer easily fortold what I was thinking by the glare I gave him. Thank God I didn't have to voice it. "Taylor gave me a call." He looked rather surprised to see me so broken and pathetic on the floor. And _fucked up_ too.

"Taylor?" I seethed. Oh, yes. He must have overheard the skirmish between Ana and I; or maybe he just could guess that me and Ana would end badly. Thoughtful of Jason Taylor, he never wanted myself to be left alone without the scrutiny of securities. Yet, how _dare_ he made decision of his own. Still, my heart capacity was almost full that they was no space left for anger.

Languidly I rose from the cold ground. My legs felt pruney but straight I stood in my jeans and T-shirt. No one could see me like this; so broken, so pathetic and so _fucked up_. Well, I supposed Ana was the only exception.

"Are you okay, sir? Is there any trouble while I was gone?" He asked.

My throat felt so dry so I didn't respond. Sawyer took the cue himself—thank god— and I saw he made a quick scan around the apartment. He looked quite pleased, no broken anything. Except me.

I dragged myself (literrally) across the spacious home of mine. It felt so empty now, another something new I had discovered tonight. I had never felt empty before even when Gail was not around too. Absently I strolled to the nearest drink bar and pour myself a full glass of Merlot in the nearest glass I could reach, which happened to be champagne glass mechanically - my bodyguard looked bewildered when I did that.

I didn't give two shit about it. I need alcohol and so will I.

Despite so, I couldn't find myself to down it. I only swirl it and watched as some liquid dripped onto my wrist (I don't suppose it's easy to swirl red wine in a tall champagne glass, full no less). Landed my ass on the nearest stool and I placed the wine back to the bar, I didn't think I want it anymore now. Tiredly I rest my hands againt my face again. It was when I was thoughtless like this that my brain started to work automatically for me. Words played like a broken radio and scenes played out like a bad movie in my mind.

"I don't want to go." I remember she whispered. The little flame of hope suddenly flicker alive. I was so desperate that time, it was maddening.

Then, came my honest admission in my entire life: "I don't want you to go either." I touched her cheeks, wiping away the stray tear streaming down her flawless face. Her scarlet skin felt so warm beneath my fingertips, "I've come alive since I met you." I said it with my utmost candor, whatever the fuck it was they called nowadays. I trace her lower lips with my thumb now, so bruised yet so soft. Those perfect lips.

"Me too." The flame of hope now burns. Brighter than the sun. "I've fallen in love with you, Christian."

I couldn't believe my ears. She loved me. She loved me. She freaking loved me!

Why? How? At that moment, I knew it too, the blantant truth: I loved her too. But my fear overshadowed me, the urges to confess buried under the consternation of being looked at differently. I lost control and now I lost Ana.

_She's gone, Grey!_ My subconscious shouted and yelled like my mind didn't belong to me anymore,_ if you let her go this time, you can't claim her back._

I breathed, not realizing how long I've held it.

_Go after her, Grey._

"Sawyer." I said suddenly, a strong surge spiralling and I feel my strength slowly rejuvenating, "Get me a car key."

"Sir?" He looked at me with eyes aloof, perplexed by sudden request."

"I meant now, Saywer." If he made me repeat myself, I would have punch him squarely on his jaw.

The guard did as I told, handing me a random key from the bunch. I gave it a quick look, it was for the Mercedes that I bought some long months ago, yet forgotten. I took a few long strides back to the elevator and slammed at the switch. Luckily, it was there for the start.

Sawyer trailed after me, "Should I drive you, sir—"

The slits closed and I was alone in the elevator, in my jeans and T-shirt.

It was cold out in the Seattle night.

I charged ahead of Sawyer fast. It should take a while, considering how the elevator now had to take a detour back over the top of Escala and down again.

It's been a while since I drove in a car myself. I didn't remember if my driving license had expired or if I had it in the first place at all. I don't do driving, Taylor did it for me. Well, I drive like a fucking lunatic, uncaring of those passing by behind me or those blaring their horns in annoyance over my misfit. I just need to get to Ana's apartment, apologize and I can live for tomorrow again.

Dammit, traffic so slow.

That's why I hated Seattle traffic, people just had too many business to clog the damned road. It was a two-way road and I stretched my neck to the left, there seemed to be no vehicle on the other side. I just need to get up this fucking ramp and I am free from the streets.

I took the gamble and swiveled my Mercedes over on the wrong lane. Just my luck, there was no vehicle at all. I stepped on the pedal verging to snap it, but I need all the velocity I could afford. The uphill climb ended fast enough and I was ahead of many other cars. Soon as the climb ended however, there came another car oncoming, flashing the headlight directly in front of mine.

Holy fuck.

I had nowhere to go, in my speed and the other, there was no way to avoid a collision without someone do anything. This was the second time I lost control for the day, first I lost control to bring Ana back and now this.

I pulled the steering sharply to the left, the blaring horn being incredibly loud in my ears, the lights became so bright that it was blinding.

Abruptly then, blackness swallowed my whole and I could only hear silence.

Ana, I am sorry. I love you.

I truly do.

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**I originally wrote this in third person view. Then I changed my mind since it had lost that 'Fifty Shades feeling' and I kinda missed out a lot of important perspectives from the characters too.**

**So how did it went so far? Leave me a review!**


	2. Chapter One

_Chapter One_  
_**  
**_**Ana's POV**

It suddenly felt so cold in my apartment.

I didn't know what to expect. Breaking up with Christian was the last thing I had in mind and here I was, laying on my bed, trying to recover from a recent heartbreak... No, wait. We didn't break up - that was an overstatement. We_ separated_ and granting each other some space. I wanted to go and he allowed it. I didn't dump him and vice versa. It was a mutual agreement.

I suddenly felt stupid and delirious; between me and Christian, we weren't those stupid high school crush thingy with all the first date jittery and stuff. I mean, we didn't swear each other names (I know I did) and we didn't promise the heavens above to not see each other again... I know could still see him but I just... There was so much more between us. Much, much more. So, no, the term 'breaking up' was not valid.

_More what? He was your domme and you were his sub?_ My mind taunted, _you know Christian don't do girlfriend and boyfriend, so what else were you?_

I wanted to tell myself to shut the fuck up. Now I felt like just shutting down my entire system and sleep it out. When I first stepped into my apartment, I was glad that Kate wasn't around... Now I wanted someone—a girl, specifically— to talk to badly. I wanted to shared my girly problem and talk about PMS until I forget everything happened today.

I scrambled up from the bed and reached for my purse. Scavenging through it, I took the my old phone out to call her and it suddenly reminded me of Christian (for some reasons) so I tossed it away somewhere on my bed. Oh great, now I couldn't even use my phone.

So I cried and cried for being so stupid and lonely, drenching Taylor's hanky in my tears.

Then I woke up.

Sitting up the bed, I looked upon my room groggily and slowly came to realize that it was late morning outside. I was on top of the comforter of my bed... Strange, I didn't remember myself falling asleep... Maybe the entire ordeal yesterday was nothing but a dream? Maybe Christian and I are still, you know, couple? I glanced downwards, regreting that I did so because I know the outfit I wore to bed was the same one as yesterday when I went to Christian, meaning that everything was not a dream. I was upset again, and now I felt like crying...

_Shit. Shit. Shit. Get it together, Anastasia Steele!_

_Your new job at SIP would be due in just the next few days! You can't be sulking and brooding over what's passed now. Christian or not, you still had a life to live with. This was your dream job and you should make use of it to the fullest!_

So I took a deep breath and exhale it just as loudly. I slapped myself awake—both physically and mentally— before jumping out and went to the bathroom. I hopped on to the showers and I basked in the hot water streaming down my skin. I knew I was trying (in vain) to wash away the lingering carresses and sweat and kisses of Christian Grey. It did little to smother the immense pain in my chest but fuck, it's a start. I didn't want to spend my days crying like a bitch, I just have to be the old, natural Ana again and it'll be okay pretty fucking soon.

I toweled off and dressed myself quickly in my olive turtleneck sweater and faded jeans. I pulled my converse to my feet quickly too (ah, dear old me). Then I went out to grab the newspaper and I went to the kitchen to make myself breakfast. Oh god, it's been a while since I cook for myself. I missed Gail already, she's a wonderful cook—no wait, she was a chef.

I made toast in butter, then cracked myself some protein: Steele's style sunny side-up, liberally splashed with ketchup. Yum. Pour myself some cheap coffee and suddenly I felt like the old me again. I just wished that Kate would be back soon... Cooking one portion wasn't fun, besides, Kate was such a terrible cook (despite claiming otherwise) that it was fun to have her awwing over your cooking.

Unfolding the newspaper, I took a crunch out of my buttered toast—and stop.

I peered more closely to the headline. In black bold letters. I could only make out a few words through my hazy mind.

CEO of Grey Enterprise Holding. Christian Grey. Accident. Hospital.

"What the fuck..." I whispered with a mouthful of bread. Then threw the toast back to the plate.

The newspaper ended up on the floor as I rushed back towards my room. Where the hell is the phone when I need it?! Christian, oh you better be okay! I found the phone as quickly as I hunted for it. Nervously I tapped it on. Ah, no wonder, it was on silent mode.

And surprise! So many missed calls and voice mails. Around twenty missed calls from Kate, twelve from Elliot and... oh god, even three from Taylor!

I panicked, listening to the first of the many voicemails accumulated. No one had ever left me voicemails (more than two at a time) unless it was an emergency or something...

First log was from Kate at midnight, **"Steele, where the hell are you?! If you hear this: please, please, please check the news!"** the first log ended and I force back a choke. Second log was from Kate too, abruptly after the first one, **"I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you but please call me back or something! I can't reach Elliott!"**

The third log was from Elliot, Christian's big brother, the time he sent me was an hour after I left Escala,** "Ana, please answer the phone. Mom called me and said Christian got himself into trouble!"**

I heaved so heavily, so Christian was really in deep shit! Pressing for the fourth one—I reminded myself to be calm— and it was from Kate, **"Ana,"** she never call me by my nickname unless she was in a hurry, **"I am hightailing it back to Seattle to catch up with Elliot, caught the plane landing in nine. Call me if you'll be there." **I glanced at the clock sitting at the dresser, it read eight. Almost there to the airport.

Fifth log was from Elliot, time was around 4.45 in the morning: **"Ana, Christian is now at the UW, still in surgery. He got into a car crash. I need you to here, and my brother needs you too, I am sure."** he impedes, long enough for me to breath, **"Call me if you are on your way, I'll try to get you in. The papparazi's crazy around the front door."**

The final voicemail was what trigger me to move. I grabbed for my purse, made sure I had enough money to take a cab (since Wanda was sold) and head for the front door, slamming it shut that I was sure I woke several tenants. I didn't care.

The final log was from Kate. Time was about five in the morning.

**"Change of plans. Elliot returned call, he said he was already in Seattle. I'be heading staight to the hospital after I landed. And please be there."**

I hailed for the nearest cab, which didn't take me too long to get one. Jumped in, spluttered the address (University of Washington Medical Center, Seattle, Washington), and the cabbie gave me a dubious look. He still hadn't move the damn car. "You sure you're going there, ma'am?" he asked, I didn't expect that.

"What about it?" I tried to maintain my chill, I doubt I could hold it any longer. I strap the seatbelt, waving at him to get a move on.

The driver shrugged pushing for the first gear, "It's gonna cost you a fortune, the traffic there are clogged like hell. It's those damned journalist all camped up there, ya' know, after this CEO guy got himself in trouble," he scratched his unruly hair, "Yeah, if you don't mind, I'll try bringing you as close as I can, don't wanna get stuck in the middle."

"Sure, thanks."

The cabbie wasn't lying when he said that.

It was like a giant exhibition of cameras, tripods and sleeping tents. The journalist all camped up along the street, each battle for a spot nearest to the hospital. No doubt they were racing to get the latest news for their own career benefits. They seemed to be simmering for now; I can tell by how they were casually wiping their camera lens, chatting up to each other, so and so. Looks like I hadn't miss the main event yet—I guess—Christian's progress. They all seemed to be anticipating for something big to happen... kinda reminds me when Duchess Catherine had her baby.

Scratch that. I just want Christian to be okay.

My cab barely got close to the main entrance with all the people cooped up there. I suppose it'll be fine to walk the rest of the way in converse, so I paid the cabbie (not even bother for the change), hopped out and nervously paced through the lines of papparazi.

It's crazy, you could almost feel how their eyes were boring into you curiously. I felt so alien but I just walk it off, increasing my pace as I did. Holy shit, the main entrance was crazier than the pavement. There were so many people that one could easily mistaken if there was a parade going on,. The front gate was wide open and the compound was empty but there were several guards standing in watch. I know they were trying to make sure there was a clear route for an ambulance to go through.

And of course, I thought, journalist are **forbidden** in hospitals.

Now, how am I supposed to get inside? I tried prying my way in, attracting as less attention as possible (after all, I am seeing **the** Christian Grey) but it wouldn't work if I had to do it discreetly. It should take a while.

A name flashed by then: Elliot.

So I pulled my old phone out, punched in the call log and there I have it. Thank god he answered the call immediately.

"Hello?" I said, and that was all I could say before Elliot began blabbering incoherently down the phone. "Ana? Oh thank god you finally called it's Christian, you know, I was in the bathroom at the Barbados club then mom called and said he got into a car crash and I tried calling you and tell Kate I am flying back and I—"

"Wait, wait. Slow down." I coaxed, I really couldn't hear anything past Christian's name. "One at a time."

I heard him sucked in deep breath at the other line. "Okay, one at a time," he promised, "where are you now?" I told him where I was: found myself a claustrophobic island away from those crazy news-eater. He sounded relieved to hear I was alone, "Great. I'm coming down to get ya', and whatever you do, do not mention my name, okay?"

"Why?" I asked feeling a little dimwitted.

He exhaled, "The papparazi. I am the brother of the main spotlight. I'll talk to you more once I get you inside, wait for me by the entrance." I reply with a simple 'oh' and he hung up.

Was Elliot serious? With all these people waiting to gain access to the medical center and he had just asked me to step into the middle of the crowd? Fuck it, I thought, I've got nothing to lose. I need to see Christian and so will I.

So I marched to the guard and there were already a few glaring at me with spear-hilt eyes. I didn't miss the journalist's stare as I walked past.

One approached me as expected, "Are you a journalist?" he was stern asking it.

"Uh... no." I tried my best to hide my nervousness, "I am visiting. Elli— a friend is coming down to get me." I didn't think telling them the truth— Elliot Grey, brother of Christian Grey was on his way here to get me— would be a great idea. Not with these people who would hound me anytime.

"You can wait here then." his vigilance slackened, permitting me to step inside the compound, "Those people are driving me nuts."

You and me both. I smiled.

It wasn't long before a chirp came to my damned cell as I waited. It was brief, "On the main door." it said and I stole a glance to where the glass door was. Elliot stood there waving at me, thank god! Finally a familiar face! I could see that he didn't want to come any closer than he already was, I reckoned it had to do with the reporters outside.

So I asked for one guard's attention and pointed toward where Elliot was waiting for me, asking permission to step into the building.

"Hey, that's Elliot Grey!" someone behind me screamed.

Darn it.

"Miss! Miss!" Double darn it. And I thought my disguise in old sweater and converse would have camouflaged me well! I jumped away further into the parking lot when I hear chaos erupting behind me. Fortunately the hospital guards acted fast to step in between me and the stampede, it did little to stop the cameras from clicking away however.

Just great, I am only here to visit CG and what do I get? My face on the gossip magazines tomorrow while I was (embarrassingly) in my sweats and converse. Knowing that it's better for me than to attract another hoard, I made an insane sprint away from the lot and straight into the building. Now I know how all those celebrity felt to get away from the camera hunts.

I made a screeching stop directly in front of the tall blonde waiting for my arrival.

"Holy shit, Ana. You didn't tell me you could run." he joked but his blue eyes were ringed by a faint purple-black bruise. He missed sleep the entire night, I reckoned.

I barely took a moment to breath, "How's Christian?"

"He's okay. The surgery went well." it was all he said that I suddenly felt like laughing and crying in relief, "He's on the top floor. I'll get you there."

I nodded, feeling in no strength to argue. As long as he's safe and sound, nothing matters anymore, I felt like I had already accomplished what I came here for. Now, all I had to do was to see how serious his injury was and if there was anything I could do to help.

I hated hospitals personally. Everything's either too white or too clean and the reeking disinfectant in the air? Blegh. Yet I followed Elliot closely while I ready myself to see the CEO of the Grey Enterprises Holding. _And also the same person to cause the damn welt on my ass just yesterday. And also the man I confessed my love to._

"Mom and Dad are already there, so is Mia. I called Kate but she isn't answering. Maybe's she trying to get a cab." he said as we stepped into the elevator. Wow, so the entire Grey family were already there but I guess there's nothing surprising about it: Christian is their son and brother.

Kate? I checked the time from my phone, it read 9.23, Kate should've landed by now, "Where's Kate?" I'd clean forgotten about my best friend.

"On her way here, I'll go pick her up when she text me. Hopefully she didn't have to run like you did. Knowing her, she'd probably running in heels." I smiled at Elliot's attempt to brighten the situation.

The ride ended so shortly. I could feel how the ambience grew heavier here on top floor than on downstairs. Then again, it's only me.

Christian, please be okay, I can't imagine how it would be _not okay_.

Elliot took the courtesy of opening the door for me. My trepidation melted like snow as my eyes fell upon the anatomy laying in the white hospital bed. The little beeps from the heart monitor never sounded so comforting and so... good.

His eyes were close, his body battered and bruised. I hated how the bandages riddled his being.

But he is alive.

Everyone else was alarmed by my presence; Carrick, Grace, Mia, and Taylor. Grace and Mia smiled at me, somewhat glad that decided to show up after playing MIA for a while. Carrick, of course, remained stoic and calm. Taylor only threw me a weary look and gave me a firm nod to acknowledge my presence. Only the women threw me a hug each, but I was too entranced in Christian's well being to return the kind gesture.

Warm moisture began pooling my eyes, I couldn't stand to see the always proud Christian Grey to be like this.

"He is okay," Grace assured, stroking my long hair, "he's just a little beat-up."

"W-What happened?" I asked, sobbing.

"We don't know." she shook her head. And she added wistfully: "We wished we'd known... the hospital just called and said that they confirmed Christian's ID after the crash."

Taylor and I exchanged meaningful glances. I didn't need to ask him, he was driving me home when the accident happened judging from the time Elliot sent me the voicemail. I gasped breathlessly. Now that I mention it... the Grey family hadn't yet to pummel me with questions when they were supposed to.

I was with Christian right before the accident after all.

Taylor... he didn't bail me and Christian out to save himself. I think I understand why Christian had him as his most trusted right-hand man.

"Mom!"

Mia shrieked, piercing the grave silence ever since I walked in. I turn around quickly when Mia's eyes staring pointedly at her brother.

Christian Grey was waking.

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**Christian's POV**

It felt like I was swimming in a real bad dream. It was so heartbreaking: I felt like I was left to drown at the bottom of the world. So desolated, so... I don't know.

Colour came to my blackness then. It was so vivid that I know I am walking my dreams - I was standing in somewhere so familiar... I saw her. Ana. She told me she loved me. But I couldn't admit the fact that I did too.

Then she left.

Ana, why did you leave? I really wanted you back, but I just couldn't... I always thought that I control everything even my inner demons, but I guess not. I controlled too much, and now my inner demons controlled me. My satanic crave had bend me into its will and I—

Wait... what did I crave for? What were my inner demons? I-I don't remember!

No, wait just a goddamn second... who am I again?

My eyes snapped open to the blinding flourescent light. "Christian...!" there were so many people calling my name, yes, I remember now: my name is Christian. I remember Ana calling me that. Ana, she's here? But why can't I move? My vision was glassy as fuck, I couldn't barely make out anything at all. There were so many blurry silhouttes surrounding me and I panicked. I tried my best to focus my vision and finally my eyes adjusted to the bright surrounding.

Someone was holding my hand, she was crying my name. "Christian... baby...?...hear me?" it sounded so distant.

She was so beautiful, her skin so pale and her blue eyes so briliant. Yes, I remember. She was the angel in my bad dreams: Anastasia Steele. She's here, she's here! I felt like I was granted the second chance to swim back surface. Thank the lord!

I groaned and gasped when I tried to move. My chest hurt like hell when I tried to lift my torso, why can't I just fucking move?!

"Easy there. It's okay. You're okay." Ana called for me again and I could hear her clearly this time.

"Mmmrgh..." the pain on my entire being was too overbearing, but it won't stop me from reaching out to her, "...Ana?"

"Yes. Yes, I am here, baby." She smiled in the midst of her tears. She looked so heavenly despite so. I could see how the surrounding turned brighter and brighter, how the color turned sharper. Me eyes were adjusting and I could finally see again. I saw there stood some people, whom I refered to as silhouttes earlier.

They... who are they?

"...Ana...?"

"Yes?" she croaked.

I squinted my eyes, "...Who...who are they?" I pointed weakly toward those people, who widened their eyes on me.

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**A.N: Sorry it took me a while. Next chapter is in progress and it's going well. Wow, and thanks again for all those feedbacks your left me! :)**

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**Updated and revised 6/27/2014**

**Thanks to chrisana143 for a point-out! I had forgotten to stress out the point that Elliot was still in Barbados with Kate when the crash happens! He hightail it back to Seattle with his plane landing in four in the morning (which explains the voicemail) and Kate got her plane landing in nine. Ana was sleeping when the entire event unfold and only discover her voicemails at around 8.00AM when she woke up.**

**Next chapter would explain how Elliot got his 4.00AM plane and leaving Kate behind (how mean) for her 9.00AM flight.**


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